The Self Mania
Loneliness, Ego, and the Self-Development Trap
A Child’s Wisdom in the Amazon
Inspired by a true story. Some years ago, I met a 10-year-old girl who saw what most adults pay thousands to understand.
“Foreigners come from far away.
They have everything: cars, houses, phones, motorbikes.
But they’re not happy.
That’s why they come here — where we have nothing but happiness —
to learn how to be happy.”
She was 10.
I was lost.
In the humid heart of the Amazon, Ting Tong — the restless seeker who’s read every self-help book, done every retreat, chased every certification — meets Liana Luna, a shaman’s daughter whose quiet gaze cuts through bullshit like a machete.
This is their conversation.
The Great Deception
Ting Tong: What are people escaping from?
Liana Luna: Loneliness — the eternal struggle everyone tries to flee, or better distract themselves from, in any way they can.
Some buy things. Others collect friends. Some build careers.
All distractions.
Ting Tong: But I know people who live alone and swear they don’t need anyone. Are they escaping, too?
Liana Luna: Of course. They proclaim they’re “whole,” that they only need themselves. But look closer: they live in communities, work as therapists, surround themselves with cats or dogs to pet and project their “poor me” onto.
They’re never truly alone.
They stay single forever, always waiting for “the perfect one.” They refuse to let go of themselves for another.
They’re not whole — they’re obsessed with their sense of self.
Their mind is their entertainment, their lover, their God.
They’re constantly “improving,” “healing.” Expensive treatments, workshops, retreats, therapy — always polishing the self.
Ting Tong: I see… but what are you trying to say?
Liana Luna: The self is always in the way.
Ting Tong: In the way of what?
The Question That Changes Everything
Liana Luna: Ah… I see. Listen to me now:
Do you want to know who you are, or are you interested in who you want to be, becoming someone?
This distinction is everything.
If you want to discover who you are, that’s one path. If you want to become someone or who you think you should be, that’s entirely different.
You need to decide.
The self-development industry thrives on the second path. It keeps you paying, learning, certifying, improving — so you never have to face who you actually are. Perpetual becoming. Perpetual distraction.
Ting Tong: I don’t follow. Improving myself sounds great. Becoming better. Making the world a better place!
Liana Luna:
Ting Tong, your ego is on fire.
Ting Tong: Okay… but what about self-love?
Liana Luna:
A contradiction in terms.
Love is expansion — giving, letting go of the self.
“Self-love” is a sales pitch.
Stop feeding the market.
It’s Not About Improving Yourself — It’s About Discovering Who You Are
Liana Luna: Here’s what nobody tells you: self-development involves obtaining, gaining, getting.
It’s about acquisition — about being seen by the other. The ego loves all of that!
But discovering who you are?
That’s about letting go.
Ting Tong: I am not sure I follow. I also want to be seen by others; it is my dream one day to be seen, acknowledged, and recognised. What’s wrong with that?
Liana Luna: Oh Ting Tong, you are not alone!
These days, everyone wants to be seen — look at social media, at social events, or even down your street. Everyone is craving to be seen.
Isn’t that just another escape from loneliness?
Ting Tong: Maybe…
Liana Luna: Well, I am sure you already know that “the others” are just a mirror.
Who is actually not seeing you?
To be seen by the world,
you must first see yourself.
And to see yourself,
you must let go of yourself.
Ting Tong: Wait — who’s seeing who?
Liana Luna: (grinning)
Ting Tong: I want to be seen. But you said something about seeing myself first… I’m lost. Who’s seeing who?!
Liana Luna: (grinning) Exactly! The trick is: you can’t see “you” while you’re busy being “you.”
Let’s play a game.
Call the quiet witness — the one breathing, watching, listening — Ting.
Call the fancy costume you wear every day — the one stitched from opinions, selfies, titles, and trauma stories — Tong.
Right now?
You’re Ting wearing Tong.
Ting is trapped inside Tong.
The costume is so tight, you only see the world through its buttons.
Ting Tong: So… how do I see myself?
Liana Luna: Take off Tong.
Just for a second.
Unzip the story. The costume. The “me.”
In a world selling endless wardrobe upgrades,
Ting Tong dares to get naked —
steps out of Tong, the shiny-shaky costume,
and stands as Ting: the one who was always there.
Liana Luna: Boom!
Now Ting is free.
Tong is on the ground like an old party costume.
You’re not wearing it.
You’re the one looking at it.
That’s the glimpse.
No tailor. No stylist.
Just… undress.
The Business of Keeping You Incomplete
Ting Tong: Wow, that hit me!
Every time I go to a workshop or retreat, my mind fills with “What should I change? How can I be better?”
They just dress me up more…
Liana Luna:
Why keep paying?
This is a business.
The mind craves the next fitting, the next accessory.
It keeps you incomplete —
perfect strategy.
Ting Tong: But somatic experiencing, breathwork — everyone’s talking about it! I must go and learn; so many new healing techniques! They even teach you what crystal to have in your pocket!
Liana Luna: For what? All repackaged from 2,500-year-old traditions: Zen, Buddhism, Vipassana…
It was free in the texts.
Now they certify it. Title it. Charge for it.
Ting Tong: So why do we pay?
Liana Luna: Because most don’t want to know themselves.
They want to keep dressing up.
They are not interested in finding out who they are.
They just want to keep improving, becoming someone —
and behind this, escape loneliness…
They want a distraction with a designer label.
What People Actually Need
Ting Tong: So no one can escape loneliness, right?
Liana Luna: That’s almost impossible. We are born lonely; how can you ever fix that?
Ting Tong: So, what do we need?
Liana Luna: Friends who listen.
That’s all.
We lack people who truly listen — without agenda, without fixing.
That’s why the healing industry thrives.
If you had friends who listened, you wouldn’t need workshops or retreats.
Real listening creates space.
In that space — we find ourselves.
Your world is already your mirror:
The trees. The sky. The stranger on the bus.
Why pay to see your reflection
when it’s with you 24/7?
The Coming Shift
Ting Tong: The world would be different!
Liana Luna: My grandfathers dreamed it long ago.
A multicolor tribe — no gurus, no life coaches, no games.
Just people meeting themselves in each other, in the raw truth of now.
Ting Tong: The kids today?
Liana Luna: Unless they’ve stared at screens since they were two —
they already know.
They won’t buy it.
They won’t chase titles, likes, or $3,000 retreats.
They’ll just be.
In their bodies.
In the moment.
No costume needed.
Ting Tong: I feel lost. What to do now?
Liana Luna:
Stay one more day.
Don’t speak. Don’t post. Don’t fix.
Just sit.
Let it do the work.
And for the first time in years —
stop.
From the Amazon, with love.
Spot-on 👌🌟
loved itttt!!!